Sharing My Heart

Well it's says share your heart, and that's what I am going to do. I am still finding myself on this wonderful rollercoaster of life. Although this rollercoaster seems to have more downs than it does ups right now. When will this ride end?? Can I get off now?? This sure isn't one of those 60 second rides, and then your off.... Nope.... Not this one. This rollercoaster keeps on going and going (kind of like the Energizer bunny). First was my husband having surgery, (poor husband) he recovered quickly from that, Praise the Lord!! He only had one complication and that was his stitches coming open, but even that healed quickly. As soon as he was feeling better, I fell and broke my toe. I still cannot believe that I did that, but yes....it happened. It took me a while to heal from it, but I am finally starting to feel better and can walk 'normal' which is a blessing. I was tired of walking with the shoe that I was given, not to mention, that it wasn't cute at all. After I fell, my boys got sick. They both were running high fevers, after taking them both to the Dr. you come to find out, that it was just a virus....imagine that!! When all else fails, trust the good old virus. Thankfully that only lasted a few days with both of them. Now the whole family is on the mend......physically.

Emotionally....well I guess that is where the rollercoaster really comes in. Who knew that being in the ministry could be so draining?? I knew that it would be rough, and I realize that, but it sure can take a toll on you. The emotions that you get from being in the ministry are amazing. Right now is a rough time for my husband and I. Trying to find out if the Lord wants us here where we are right now, or is it time to move on? We both feel as though it is time to move on, now the grander question is, where do you go?? The verse in the Bible that says Wait on the Lord, is truly applying to my life right now. I am waiting on the Lord and I know that He is going to lead us on the right path. When do you take that leap of faith and say OK God I'll go, just tell me where to go. I know in my heart that we aren't supposed to be here anymore, and I am ready to move on, but it is a sit and wait game right now. The Lord has really changed my view on things and how they are supposed to be.

I realize that my biggest support right now is my husband. Praise the Lord for my husband. He is my rock, and I truly depend on him. He is always there for me, and I love him with all my heart. Next to the Lord is my everything. I do everything for him, and there is nothing wrong with that in my eyes. He loves me unconditonally even with all my flaws. (Yes that's right....I'm not perfect...big shock right??) He is my biggest supporter, and my companion. Have we always been close and so in love?? No... but we vowed 6 years ago that we would let God be the center of our relationship, and since then it has been a great marriage!! He brings me so much joy and happiness. And he is the head of the household that the Lord has commanded him to be. He leads our family in the right paths, and the way that we should go. I hope for everyone that they can one day find a love like my husband and I have. That is my wish for everyone. For you Honey: I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART!! Thank you for being there for me. And like you said on your blog- I know that I have a good thing as well. Love you sweetheart!!!!

And..... I broke my toe!!

Yes, I broke my toe!! I still can't believe that I did it, but it's real. Monday I went into the bathroom and the kids had just gotten out of the bath, and water was on the floor. Needless to say, I found the water, slid in it, and nailed my foot on the bottom of the toliet. I didn't cry or anything. I sat there thinking, did this really happen?? Sure enough it did. So I had to call husband and work and tell him... I think I broke my toe. Well in the process of it all, I tried to see if I could wiggle it. I tried with my fingers, and when I did that, it popped back into place. That is when I knew I broke it. So we went to the ER, and they did the whole x-ray thing, and yes it was broken. So now I have to walk with the coolest shoe ever.....NOT!!!! It is a shoe that keeps my toes straight, because I can't bend them. Hopefully I will be out of it soon. This could not have happened at a worse time either. I broke it Monday, and on Tuesday we were taking our teens to an amusement park. Yes, you guessed it, I was in a wheel chair all day!! Talk about the Lord keeping you humble. For my husband it was him having surgery and having to walk in a hospital gown in front of Church members. For me it was being pushed around an amusement park by my husband and another friend of ours. Although I have to say that my husband has been great!!! He has gone above and beyond to make sure that I am comfortable, and he has been super helpful!! I LOVE YOU BABY!!!!!!!!! So I guess that is all for now. Nothing to interesting is going on here right now. That is all I have for today. :)

Blogging....sometimes it is a stress relief

Here is my blog for today. It is a nice cloudy, rainy, day today, and I am OK with that. Last night it stormed pretty heavy, and we were a close family through the night. By that I mean, both the boys thought that they should climb into bed with my husband and I, because they were afraid. I can't say that I blame them, some of the thunder was pretty loud, and it scared me too. The storm passed, and we put them back to bed, only to be wakened an hour or so later to another storm, although this one didn't wake the kids up, Praise the Lord!! It was a long night for me especially. I really don't sleep much anymore, I keep telling my husband that sleep is over rated, although I don't really think that's true.

So many things have been going on, and I normally stay awake at night praying, and thinking. Well that was me last night. Hubby went to sleep, and I stayed up. I watched some TV, and then I just turned it off, and laid there. I probably shouldn't ponder so many things while I am laying in bed at night, but I can't help it. It is the only time when the kids aren't playing, or screaming, etc., there isn't any noise, nothing, and so it is peaceful, and you can think. So I layed there last night and I prayed for so many things.

I want something to change in my life in the area of Church and serving the Lord. Yes, I am faithful to the Lord now, and I enjoy that, and that is the way that it should be, but I want MORE. Last night was a rough night for hubby at Church. Our Pastor is out of town, and he Preached his heart out, and he felt as though he didn't get anywhere. I told him that wasn't true, but I don't really think it made a difference. I don't really think that I am helping my husband like I should be. He is so sad, and heartbroken right now, and there is nothing that I can do to help him. I hate feeling helpless. I know that the Lord is in control, and that He will take care of him, I just wish that there were more that I could do. I love my husband SOOOOOOOOO Much and I just wish that there were more to do to help him.









I want answers so badly, and yet they simply seem as if they aren't coming. I am sure that they will come, and I KNOW that they will, the big question is when?? How long do we have to wait? I didn't realize that the ministry could be so hard. We have been through a lot in the short time that we have been serving in the ministry. When I was younger I didn't think that I would be moving here and there, and going to different Churches. That wasn't what I was used too. I was used to staying at one Church and serving there. That is what I want right now. I want to find somewhere to serve and be there for a while. It is hard to see me staying where we are at right now, and staying under the Pastor that we are under now, because unless things change, I simply can't do it. I want some new doors to open up for us, and I pray that they do soon.

I guess the bottom line is, that I have to remain faithful to the Lord, and He will remain faithful to me. I know that all this pain will be taken away soon, the big question is when?? Until then though I remain safely In His Grip!!!!