Roller Coaster of life....going down....

You know in this life you realize that you are going to have ups and downs, and as much as you hate it, sometimes you have to go down to get back up. Very honestly though, I am ready to get off this ride that I am on right now! It seems as though I am on a ride that never ends. Why is it that you have to go through so many valleys to enjoy the mountaintops? I want to be on the mountaintops for a while before I have to go through another valley.

Things have been a little rough here lately. I have seen so many of the people that I love being hurt, and I don't like that at all. I want to be able to stop the pain, and make everything OK for them, but I can't. Only the Lord can do that, but it seems as though they have lost all their faith in the Lord, and that isn't right either. I think the thing that bothers me the most is having to see the man that I love going through pain, and being hurt.

I love my husband with all my heart, and I don't like to see him hurt at all. It makes me sad when he is hurting, and I can't fix things for him. He has just faced surgery a week ago, and is still recovering from that. Not to mention whatever is going on at the Church that he has to deal with. It really seems as though it is one thing after the other that is being piled on his plate, and you almost want to say...WHY LORD?? I just want to see my husband in the ministry and happy. He LOVES what he is doing now with working with the teens. They bring him so much joy, and that's wonderful. Being a Youth Pastor is one of the greatest things that has happened for him, and that makes me happy knowing that. I just wish that other things in the Church realm were better for him. If only I could take all his pain away, and if only I had all the answers...but I don't.

There is a song that Carrie Underwood sings called Jesus Take The Wheel, and the words of the chorus are so powerful to me, and explains often times the way that I am feeling.



Well that is all for me right now. We will see where this ride takes me next time.

Oh bother....

I truly feel like Winnie the Pooh right now...with no honey. Let me explain. We really have been dealing with a lot at our Church, and things don't really seem to be getting any easier. People are talking about leaving the Church and if that is what they feel like they have to do, to grow for the Lord then who are we?? I hate that people feel like that, because I know their hearts. Little by little I can see families slipping away from the Lord and that is NOT how it is supposed to be.

My husband and I ourselves have talked about leaving also, but with him being in the ministry, we can't really just pick up and leave. We've prayed and prayed and prayed, and the Lord doesn't seem to be showing us the way right now. And I know that the Lord hears our prayers, and our cries it says so in the Bible. Psa 27:7 Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me. So I know that the Lord hears my cries and my prayers, and I know that He will answer them, the question is when??

I simply do not understand the mind of our Pastor. I don't say that being rude, or cruel, or even trying to bad mouth him. I just don't get how his mind works. Chris had surgery yesterday to remove his gallbladder, and the whole time that he was up there, which was from 9 in the morning until 7 last night, our Pastor didn't stop by ONCE!! Not once...he didn't even call to make sure that he was OK or anything. I tried calling him 3 times at his house and Church with no answer. This is his assitant that is in the hospital, the one that works by his side, and he can't even come to see how he is doing?? It's not right. Especially when I KNOW that he goes to the hospital to visit this person or that person (who don't go to our Church), and he can't even come to see his own assistant?? I felt so bad for my husband, because that truly hurt his feelings. It was like our Pastor was telling him that he didn't care enough about him to go to the hospital. It's just not fair. I just hope that hubby will feel better soon and then we can move on...if that be the Lord's will.

So we pray and pray and one day the Lord will deliever us. And until then, we will remain faithful to Him, and allow Him to guide us in our lives. I never thought that the ministry could have so many ups and downs. I really didn't. I LOVE being in the ministry I don't want it to sound that way. I know that the Lord works miracles all the time and I know that working for the Lord is the best thing that we can do in our lives.

I just feel saddened by all that is going on. I just know that it is out of my hands and there is nothing that I can do about it. Even though I want to heal everybody, and take everyone's pain away, I know that I can't do that. I know that the Lord is in control, and I have to allow Him to take care of everyone. I just want this journey in the valley to be over with....

I just want to say how much I love my husband. He brings me so much joy and happiness, and he truly lifts my spirits while I am down. It amazes me that when I am down, he is always up and when he is down, I am up. The Lord is so great like that!! My hubby is a HUGE part of my life, and I live to serve him (and the Lord). I am so blessed to have such a great man of God in my life. I love him so much!!


Well that is all for me right now. I am off to go and take care of my hubby, hopefully he is asleep by now, he needs the rest to recover. Take care everbody, and Kristy...WELCOME BACK!!!!!

Happy Birthday America

Happy 4th of July to everybody! I hope that everyone is planning something fun for today, and in return that you will remember all that we have in America. I was thinking the other day how lucky we all are to live in America and to have all the freedoms that we have. While I was in El Paso, I had the chance to go to Juarez Mexico. While there I realized that we really and truly have the greatest life in America. We don't realize what we have until you go somewhere else and they don't have all that we are accustom too. It also made me VERY thankful for missionaries!! Praise the Lord that there are people who are willing to go to other countries and win souls to the Lord. I just know that I couldn't do it. I couldn't go over to another country, BUT I am more than willing to send missionaries to go. I love Missionaries and the work that they do. God Bless them for having a willing heart. So all in all, I guess the bottom line is that I am proud to be an American, and Happy Birthday America!!

Don't lose that fluttering feeling...

You know I was sitting here thinking and I don't know for the life of me how people fall out of love. I was listening to someone yesterday who said they have been married to long,and they lost that fluttering feeling that you get while you are with your spouse. I thought to myself how sad, how very, very sad. And he meant it too, this is someone who has been married for over 30+ years, but is still young, and he said that he doesn't have the feeling anymore.

That lead me to ask myself if I had lost that feeling, and the answer is NO!! That is not to say that I have always felt that way, BUT...I had to learn like a lot of people do how to love him again. This was when we first got married, and we were young. Why is it that after you get married, that everything stops? Is it because the guy got what he wanted and now he is done? I don't know what it is, but I do know that my husband and I learned how to be affectionate again, and I can honestly say that we still get that fluttering feeling. I love my husband with all my heart!!!!



He is absolutely the one that the Lord has for me. I have a lot of friends that have been married and are now divorced, and they wonder why. Why don't they have what I have, and they tell me that I wish I had what you have with Chris. Well the fact of the matter is, I waited and realized that I couldn't choose my mate (I tried that once, and made A TON of mistakes.) When I got saved, and I accepted the Lord as my Saviour, I realized that He was the one that had to pick my mate, not me. I think a lot of times that is how girls get themselves in trouble, is because they want to be with the man because he shows her the attention that she wants and or needs. When Chris and I got together, I told him that I wouldn't date him, or anything else if he wasn't going to go to Church. So he thought that he would play Church, and that is when the Lord got a hold of him. I want to tell all my friends that they had the same choices I did. We all grew up together, it is what you chose to do with your life. If you live for the flesh, then ultimately you will always fail. You cannot live for the flesh, you have to live for what the Lord wants in your life. Once you are saved, you aren't your own anymore.

All I know is that I love my husband with all my heart. He is absolutely the world to me. I am glad that the Lord has brought us to where we are today, and above all.... I am glad that I haven't lost that fluttering feeling!!!

Happy 4th of July...

I just wanted to wish everyone a Happy and safe 4th of July. It's such a good day to remember who we are, where we have come from, and where we are going. We aren't doing too much tomorrow. Just staying home, and having some friends over. Then I think we are going to grill hamburgers and hot dogs. Nothing big, just simple American cooking, or grilling I should say. I told my husband that I don't even really care about fireworks this year. If I see them fine and if not I really don't care. I am sure that isn't the right attitude to have, but that is how I feel. And I don't want to feel that way, but I can't help it. I want my kids to enjoy the fireworks, so I don't want to be the grouch about it. I don't know why it is that I feel that way....well I have to go for now...more later.

Today is a better day

Well I am sitting here thinking that today is a better day. I was really having a rough day on Thursday, and I know that there was a lot that played into it. It just seems as though one thing piles on another and another and another. I am sure that we all know how that goes. If it's not one thing it's another, and if you don't deal with the one thing first then you just get overwhelmed, and that was me on Thursday. Today is Saturday though, and it is a better day.

I know that one of the things that is bothering me the most is the fact that my mom is living with me right now, and that can be rather annoying on certain days. I love my mom to death, I really do, but the deal was that she would move here with us until she found a job, that was in December, and it's July already. I seriously think that it is time for her to move out. I love having her here with us in Illinois, but I am ready to have my house back. So that is one thing that is bothering me.

Another thing that is bothering me is that our Church is in such a place of contentness (not sure if that is a word or not, but it is now.) They are just fine with the way that everything is and that is just not right. It's almost like they don't want to grow anymore for the Lord and they are OK with where everything is. What's that saying...us 4 and no more? I would liken some of the people like that. Don't bring in any new people, we like it just the way it is. I just know that we can do so much more for the cause of Christ and we aren't doing anything. It just doesn't seem right. I want our Youth Department to grow, and I want to see more teens in there. I want to see more young people in our younger kids. I want to have a kids club, and be able to do things with the younger kids. I guess overall I really want to have a bigger Church. One that is on fire for the Lord and that they are willing to do things for the Lord because they want to not because they have too. I am not saying that everyone in our Church is like that, but I bet it is more than half that are. I also want to be somewhere where I don't get yelled at, and where the philosophy is CHILDREN ARE TO BE SEE AND NOT HEARD. What is that about?? I just know that I didn't have kids so that people can see how cute they are (and I must say they are pretty adorable), but they are never supposed to be heard. Nope not to sure that I like that.

I just have to take a minute to brag on my husband. He is the most wonderful man in the world and I love him with all my heart!! He brings me so much joy. When I am discouargaed with things at Church he is always there to tell me that everything will be alright and that God is a loving God, (yet He is also a jealous God) and that the Lord will guide us through this trial. He is a blessing to me on a daily basis. He may not even know what a blessing he is to me, and maybe I don't tell him enough. He knows that I love him, but I don't think that he knows that he is one of the biggest blessings in my life!! He has given me 2 beautiful children (3 actually, although the third one is in Heaven), a roof over my head, food to eat, and above all, he is willing to go to work daily to provide for our family so that I don't have to go to work and I can stay home and take care of the kids. He determined right when we got married that I wouldn't have to work, and he has made it that way ever since. He is an AMAZING man!! I not only love him with all my heart, but I admire him with everythin.g that I have. He has been through so much and through it all he still continues with the best attitude, because he knows that the Lord will see him through. He is just above all the love of my life.

So those are two of the things that were bothering me the other night, and I really do feel better today. Even though neither of those two things have changed, I feel better knowing that the Lord is in control and that He will guide me through these trials. I don't know why it is that we are allowed to go through trials, but I guess it is because the Lord wants us to learn from them, and grow the right way. I know that we will always have trials, and I really don't like that. I do want to learn from them though and I want to do what is right and what the Lord would have me do.