Why Is It That....

I was talking to one of our teenagers last night, and she said to me: Mrs. Charlie, I just feel like God is so far away, like He isn't there, and He isn't hearing me. Oh how I could relate! I told her, I've felt like that to. I knew what she was talking about and how she was feeling. I don't think that I had the answer for her, because I don't even know that I know why it happens.

I don't know why it is that I pray and I pray and I read His word, and yet through all of that, my prayers never seem like they get answered. I've been praying and believing and having faith that the Lord would provide, and having faith that He would move us on, and yet still here we are! I hate feeling abandoned. Please know that I KNOW this isn't true, and I KNOW that God would NEVER abandon me, oh, I so get that, I know better, but it certainly does feel like I'm left here to die.

There is a Church around our area that puts signs on their marquee, and one time it simply said this: IF GOD SEEMS FAR AWAY, WHO MOVED? There is so much truth to that, and I ponder that thought all the time. And while I don't feel like I've moved, I still feel as though the Lord is far away. I don't want to feel far away from God. I want to feel close to Him, and I want to feel as though He is right there, not miles and miles away from me.

This trial that I am going through right now is truly increasing my faith, and I know that it is, I just so want it all to be over. I want to see my husband happy again, and I want my kids to feel joy again, and I don't want them sad and upset and crying, because they don't like it here. I want to feel joy again. I know that we have to go through valleys, to enjoy the mountaintops, but I sure do wish that Mountain was right in front of me. I feel like: LORD I BELIEVE, HELP MY UNBELIEF! (Paraphrase there....LOL!)

I can't help them

So tonight was a hard night for me. We started up teen class again, and it hurt so bad, because Chris and I weren't the ones going up to teach them. I want to be there for them, I want to help them, they are a part of me. ☺ I know that this isn't what the Lord wants for us right now, is teaching the teens, but I miss them!!

I know that the Lord can help them more than I can, but I hate to see them hurting. They don't understand why decisions are being made at the Church, and they don't get why Chris and I can't just stay on here. They all want us here, and they all want us to stay, and I wish that I could stay for them, but I know that this isn't where the Lord wants us. I hate that they hurt though. I don't like to see them hurting. It's hard for me because I want to help them, and shelter them, and mend their breaking hearts, and I just can't do that. God is the only one right now that can help them. I have to give them over to the Lord, and know that He will do what is best for them.

So, while tonight has been a rough night for me, I will head to bed praying for the peace that passes all understanding, and I will pray for my hurting teenagers, that the Lord will mend their hearts, and that they will find peace. I sure do love them!!

Looking For a YES!

So here I am again on a crossroads of life. 2 years ago, I was begging God to deliver us out of a horrible situation, and He did! It was amazing! I never thought that I would be delivered from that previous situation, but God provided.

Now here we are again, looking to be delivered, and waiting for it to happen. We know that this is not where the Lord wants us, and now we are waiting for Him to show us where to go. Not sure what's going to happen or when the doors are going to open, but I sure hope that it's soon. It kind of stinks to go into a Church where you know that there are people there who don't want you there. For me it's not so bad, but for Chris, it's hard, I know it is. He preaches his heart out to these people, knowing how they feel. It's hard Sunday after Sunday going and making the best of it. I just want the Lord to show us where to go, and what to do!

So....here I am looking for a yes from the Lord. I want a YES....go here. YES....move there. Yes....help these people, minister to them, be about my business. I know that soon enough I'll hear a yes from the Lord, I just wish it was NOW! I'm generally a patient person, but, I have to be honest and say, my patience is wearing thin right now. LOL!

I found a verse in Joshua 1:9 that really spoke to my heart and here is what it says: HAVE NOT I COMMANDED THEE? BE STRONG AND OF A GOOD COURAGE, BE NOT AFRAID NEITHER BE THOU DISMAYED FOR THE LORD THY GOD IS WITH THEE WHITHERSOEVER THOU GOEST. This verse speaks volumes to me! I need to be strong and have courage, and know that God is with me all the way, all the time. I just want a yes right now though, but until then....I'll try to patiently wait and see what the Lord says. =)

Newest Addition To The Family....

Bet y'all thought that I was going to tell you that I was pregnant or something, with the title of the post, but no....Here is the newest addition to my snowman family!

Isn't he the cutest thing ever? I think that out of my 50+ snowmen, he is the cutest! I almost didn't get him. We were at Menard's one night, and shopping around, and I saw him in a scene that was set up, and I fell in love with him! I HAD to have him. So I searched every aisle, looking for this snowman. Meanwhile, while I was searching for my snowman, hubby decides to leave me and head for the checkout, so that he wouldn't have to buy him for me. Well the boys and I finally found him, and we ran to catch up to hubby, and I begged him (well kind of), and he said yes! (He LOVES me)

So here is the newest member, and I am keeping him out. No sense in putting him away, when I'm just going to pull him out next month when I decorate! I ♥ my snowman! He's just so super cute! LOL!!!!

Slow Fade...Don't let this be you

I was listening to Casting Crowns (my Favorite group, ever!) Slow Fade, and it truly struck home to me. I was reading the lyrics, and then it hit me....I could slowly fade into something that I don't want to be.

With everything that's going on in my life, I find myself pulling away from people. I don't mean to do it, it is just something that happens. However, like the song says: People never crumble in a day, it's a slow fade!

I don't want to fade away, and while I know that it won't happen that way, I am not dumb enough to think that it can't happen. If I give the devil an inch, he'll try to rule my life and I REFUSE to allow that to happen. I belong to the Lord and I know that the Lord will help me through this.

I realize that I have people looking at me as an example, namely my children, and if I fade away, then what will happen to them? I will NOT allow that to happen. I want to be a strong example to my children, and I want them to know that their Mommy isn't going to allow circumstances to control her or her life, that she gives the Lord the victory!

So, I'm here to tell y'all, don't let situations allow you to slowly fade away from the Lord. He's still there for you, and even though sometimes He may seem far away, He's still right there for you!!!! *Yes, I'm preaching to myself here also*