Do you ever have those days where you just feel sad?? Drained?? Worthless?? Well I am having one of those days today. I feel like Eeyore, where he's there, but he still doesn't feel like he fits in.
So much has been going on the past couple of months, and you try to tell yourself to get past it, don't let it bother you, ignore the things that are being said, but yet there are times that you can't.
Today is one of those days where I have been somewhat replaying things in my mind. I am sure that is something that I shouldn't be doing, but I am flesh, and it happens. I am so mad at certain things, and even certain people. Horrible awful things have been said about my husband, and there are people out there who are stupid enough to believe them, it's unreal to me. Even some people who said they were our "friends" have believed the lies of one man. It's amazing to me when someone KNOWS that the person who told them this lie, is known for his evil ways, and his lies, and yet they still believed him. AMAZING!!!!!!
Why is it when you walk away from a situation, and you try to move on with your life, that there is always something that seems to hold you back? I know that the devil plays a lot into things, but I really feel at the end of my rope almost. I am so tired, emotionally drained, and there are days that I simply want to give up. Then I realize that the Lord is right there, and He wants to help me through my problems, and I need to let Him. It just feels as though there are times when nothing is going to change, and nothing is going to happen, and people are just going to run their mouths, because they think it's the right thing to do. People don't care that it's wrong, and that they are gossiping, and spreading false truths. No....that doesn't matter.
I am so annoyed with people. Not everyone, just certain people. It's a good thing that the Bible says to pray for your enemies otherwise I'd be in a lot of trouble. I have prayed and prayed for these people, and I hope that the Lord answers my prayers. I know He will, it's all just a matter of time.
We are at a new Church now, and it's been very helpful. The Pastor there is wonderful, and he preaches the Word of God with love, and compassion. I no longer have to worry about what negative thing is going to be said, and I don't feel horrible when I go to Church anymore. It's been refreshing to be there, but yet at the same time, I almost feel as though I don't fit in. Yes, I know people there, and that's great and nice, but there is still something there. It's not something that I can explain, and I am happy going there, there's just something....The Lord knows my heart and He knows that I love going there, and I love the Pastor there, and I know that I have to use this time to heal, before I move on anywhere.
So on this sad, dreary day I'm off. It felt good to get things off my chest....Sometimes you have to do that to make yourself feel better. I know that things will pick up, and get better, it's all just a matter of time.
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