Why Is It That....

I was talking to one of our teenagers last night, and she said to me: Mrs. Charlie, I just feel like God is so far away, like He isn't there, and He isn't hearing me. Oh how I could relate! I told her, I've felt like that to. I knew what she was talking about and how she was feeling. I don't think that I had the answer for her, because I don't even know that I know why it happens.

I don't know why it is that I pray and I pray and I read His word, and yet through all of that, my prayers never seem like they get answered. I've been praying and believing and having faith that the Lord would provide, and having faith that He would move us on, and yet still here we are! I hate feeling abandoned. Please know that I KNOW this isn't true, and I KNOW that God would NEVER abandon me, oh, I so get that, I know better, but it certainly does feel like I'm left here to die.

There is a Church around our area that puts signs on their marquee, and one time it simply said this: IF GOD SEEMS FAR AWAY, WHO MOVED? There is so much truth to that, and I ponder that thought all the time. And while I don't feel like I've moved, I still feel as though the Lord is far away. I don't want to feel far away from God. I want to feel close to Him, and I want to feel as though He is right there, not miles and miles away from me.

This trial that I am going through right now is truly increasing my faith, and I know that it is, I just so want it all to be over. I want to see my husband happy again, and I want my kids to feel joy again, and I don't want them sad and upset and crying, because they don't like it here. I want to feel joy again. I know that we have to go through valleys, to enjoy the mountaintops, but I sure do wish that Mountain was right in front of me. I feel like: LORD I BELIEVE, HELP MY UNBELIEF! (Paraphrase there....LOL!)