I can't help them

So tonight was a hard night for me. We started up teen class again, and it hurt so bad, because Chris and I weren't the ones going up to teach them. I want to be there for them, I want to help them, they are a part of me. ☺ I know that this isn't what the Lord wants for us right now, is teaching the teens, but I miss them!!

I know that the Lord can help them more than I can, but I hate to see them hurting. They don't understand why decisions are being made at the Church, and they don't get why Chris and I can't just stay on here. They all want us here, and they all want us to stay, and I wish that I could stay for them, but I know that this isn't where the Lord wants us. I hate that they hurt though. I don't like to see them hurting. It's hard for me because I want to help them, and shelter them, and mend their breaking hearts, and I just can't do that. God is the only one right now that can help them. I have to give them over to the Lord, and know that He will do what is best for them.

So, while tonight has been a rough night for me, I will head to bed praying for the peace that passes all understanding, and I will pray for my hurting teenagers, that the Lord will mend their hearts, and that they will find peace. I sure do love them!!

Looking For a YES!

So here I am again on a crossroads of life. 2 years ago, I was begging God to deliver us out of a horrible situation, and He did! It was amazing! I never thought that I would be delivered from that previous situation, but God provided.

Now here we are again, looking to be delivered, and waiting for it to happen. We know that this is not where the Lord wants us, and now we are waiting for Him to show us where to go. Not sure what's going to happen or when the doors are going to open, but I sure hope that it's soon. It kind of stinks to go into a Church where you know that there are people there who don't want you there. For me it's not so bad, but for Chris, it's hard, I know it is. He preaches his heart out to these people, knowing how they feel. It's hard Sunday after Sunday going and making the best of it. I just want the Lord to show us where to go, and what to do!

So....here I am looking for a yes from the Lord. I want a YES....go here. YES....move there. Yes....help these people, minister to them, be about my business. I know that soon enough I'll hear a yes from the Lord, I just wish it was NOW! I'm generally a patient person, but, I have to be honest and say, my patience is wearing thin right now. LOL!

I found a verse in Joshua 1:9 that really spoke to my heart and here is what it says: HAVE NOT I COMMANDED THEE? BE STRONG AND OF A GOOD COURAGE, BE NOT AFRAID NEITHER BE THOU DISMAYED FOR THE LORD THY GOD IS WITH THEE WHITHERSOEVER THOU GOEST. This verse speaks volumes to me! I need to be strong and have courage, and know that God is with me all the way, all the time. I just want a yes right now though, but until then....I'll try to patiently wait and see what the Lord says. =)

Newest Addition To The Family....

Bet y'all thought that I was going to tell you that I was pregnant or something, with the title of the post, but no....Here is the newest addition to my snowman family!

Isn't he the cutest thing ever? I think that out of my 50+ snowmen, he is the cutest! I almost didn't get him. We were at Menard's one night, and shopping around, and I saw him in a scene that was set up, and I fell in love with him! I HAD to have him. So I searched every aisle, looking for this snowman. Meanwhile, while I was searching for my snowman, hubby decides to leave me and head for the checkout, so that he wouldn't have to buy him for me. Well the boys and I finally found him, and we ran to catch up to hubby, and I begged him (well kind of), and he said yes! (He LOVES me)

So here is the newest member, and I am keeping him out. No sense in putting him away, when I'm just going to pull him out next month when I decorate! I ♥ my snowman! He's just so super cute! LOL!!!!

Slow Fade...Don't let this be you

I was listening to Casting Crowns (my Favorite group, ever!) Slow Fade, and it truly struck home to me. I was reading the lyrics, and then it hit me....I could slowly fade into something that I don't want to be.

With everything that's going on in my life, I find myself pulling away from people. I don't mean to do it, it is just something that happens. However, like the song says: People never crumble in a day, it's a slow fade!

I don't want to fade away, and while I know that it won't happen that way, I am not dumb enough to think that it can't happen. If I give the devil an inch, he'll try to rule my life and I REFUSE to allow that to happen. I belong to the Lord and I know that the Lord will help me through this.

I realize that I have people looking at me as an example, namely my children, and if I fade away, then what will happen to them? I will NOT allow that to happen. I want to be a strong example to my children, and I want them to know that their Mommy isn't going to allow circumstances to control her or her life, that she gives the Lord the victory!

So, I'm here to tell y'all, don't let situations allow you to slowly fade away from the Lord. He's still there for you, and even though sometimes He may seem far away, He's still right there for you!!!! *Yes, I'm preaching to myself here also*

Great Friendships

The image you see here is our former Pastor, and my husband, right before they left. Our Pastor was WONDERFUL! Not only did he help us (my husband and I) through a difficult time on our ministry, but we built a great friendship with him and their family. We made such a connection with them, and I'm sad that they are gone. I remember telling my boys that they were leaving and the pain that it caused them. It was one of the hardest things that I've ever had to do as a parent. My husband and our Pastor are so much alike, they are so funny together. They have the same beliefs when it comes to Preaching, and they are just so fun to watch when they are together. Sometimes I think that they are worse than females when they talk. LOL! That's always a joke with my hubby, that if he and Pastor are talking on the phone, better bet it's going to be an hour maybe more (usually more.) I am so glad that they have a friendship like that, my husband has always longed for a friendship like he has with him, and it's such a blessing.

I miss them terribly! I would love to go down to Texas where they are at, and work with them again, until the Lord opens a door for Chris and I. It's great to go through life knowing that you always have a friend that is right there for you, and will help you when you need help. I love that picture above, and I'll cherish it always. Those are two very special men of God in my life, and I know that the Lord will allow our friendship to remain, always!!!! Proverbs 17:17a- A friend loveth at all times...

Give Me A Break

So I was strolling through blogs this afternoon, and I came upon a IFB Pastor's page. Please understand that I am IFB, and I've always been that, and I always will be an IFB. HOWEVER!!!! The beauty of being an Independent Baptist is that I am INDEPENDENT!

I was reading through this mans blog, and he said that casual dress has ruined America. Ummmm....OK! I think not! I get so sick and tired of hearing about dress. Please know that I'm all for dressing properly, and I'm all for being respectful, and modest in my dress, but I certainly do not think that casual dress has ruined America. That is absolutely ludicrous. Do I think that if we are going to Church, we should dress properly, and give our 100% best to the Lord? Absolutely! But I also think that there is a time for casual dress. I assure you that when I am at home, I'm not wearing my Sunday best, I am casually dressed. Also, when I go out in public, it's not my Sunday best, where it's a nice skirt, and top, and nylons, and heels. While I'm dressed modestly, I'm also more casually dressed. My husband doesn't go out in a suit and tie all the time.

I seriously think that there are bigger issues in America, and bigger things that have destryoed America, other than casual dress. Whoa....I could go on and on, but I'll quit. That was just my two cents on it all.

Do You Even Remember Me????

OK everyone! I apologize for going MIA for a looooooong time. Life has been extradonarialy busy here lately, and I actually forgot there for a while that I even had a blog. How sad is that? Then some friends of mine were sharing their blogs with me, and I remembered that I had one, and figured that with all the thoughts running through my head, that I should begin blogging again.

So here I am....and I'm on another roller coaster of life. (If you go back through past blogs, you can tell, that the Lord likes to keep me on these stupid roller coasters.) We are at another crossroads in our life, and in our ministry. It's another one of those, where do we go now Lord?

I won't go into major detail, except to say that we know this isn't where the Lord is going to have us for much longer. And I am OK with that. I'm beyond ready to move out of ILLANNOY (A.K.A.- Illinois) I feel as though we have been trapped here for way to long, and while you can take the girl out of Texas, you certainly cannot take Texas out of the girl. I'm ready to go back to Texas, and we'll see what happens.

Well I'll slowly update this blog, and I promise to try and be better about posting and what not. Check back soon for updates, possible recipes, and more. :)

HAPPY 10 YEAR ANNIVERSARY

This is a picture of me and my Baby! (I love this picture) Anyway, my husband and I had our 10 year anniversary last Thursday. We didn't get the chance to do anything, and that's OK. I cannot believe that it's been 10 years since we've been married. It doesn't seem possible, at all. We've been together for 12 years altogether, but married for 10. I can say that in that 10 years we've certainly had our ups and downs. We've moved 1,400 miles away from our family, to a place where we didn't know anyone. Chris started Bible college, we had a baby, we lost a baby who went to Heaven. We've started homeschooling our boys. We've watched them grow for the Lord, and have seen them both come to know the Lord as their personal Saviour. He's become a Youth Pastor, and done a wonderful job at it. We've gone through MAJOR battles that have tested our faith in the Lord, and in reality allowed Chris and I to grow much closer to one another, and it strengthened our relationship with one another. I never knew that I could love someone as passionately as I love Chris (outside of the Lord that is.) I sometimes don't feel worthy enough, but I know that the Lord allowed me to marry Chris and he is truly the one meant for me. I thank the Lord every day for blessing me with such a God fearing husband who rules our home with the fear of the Lord in him! So as our 10 year is now here, I say: I LOVE YOU HONEY WITH ALL MY HEART (or as much of it as you can have....LOL...you know what I mean), and I can't wait for another 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 years together with you. You are the best husband ever!

Kids Are So Cute!

So we were sitting at Pizza Hut tonight after Church, having supper, just the four of us. Chris and I were talking to the boys about Church, and how it went. Somehow or another we got to talking about girls. Well Jacob started blushing, it was so cute! We asked him if he thought so and so was cute, and he said no (still blushing), then we asked if he thought so and so was cute and he said no (still blushing.) Then I asked him if he thought this girl that came from Texas was cute, and he said OH YEAH and he clicked his tongue, and said SHE'S CUTE! ROFL! I hate to think about it, but my babies are growing up. What am I going to do when they really are into dating, and really into girls? Those are my boys, they can't, it just doesn't seem right. I fear....I'm losing them. OK, I know I'm not losing them....YET....but, the day is coming. Fairly certain that I'm not ready to think about that yet. Do you think the rapture will happen before that? LOL!

Kids Can Be So Cute!

So tonight after we put the boys in bed, Jacob ended up telling Dylan a story. It was so cute! Jacob was going on and on about this make believe land, and all that it had in it. It had candy cane tunnels, grass that was sour apple flavor, gum balls as big as your head, a chocolate swimming pool. Whup (yes, that's how he says it, instead of whip) cream something or other. All of this was in this make believe land. Chris and I sat there and listened to the whole story. It was the cutest thing, because most of the time today, kids don't use their imagination on a whole lot anymore.

While I was listening to Jacob tell his story, it got me to thinking....If we could only think about what Heaven will be like. The Bible gives us a description of what it will be like, but do we really know? Yes, we know that there will be streets of gold, gates of pearl, walls of jasper, a crystal sea, etc. And while all of that is glorious, what is Heaven really going to be like? I can only imagine....

My love for snowmen and the cutest one ever

So anyone who knows me, know of my GRAND passion that I have for snowmen. I love them! They make me so happy. Just looking at them makes me happy. These are just a few in my collection that I have. This isn't my whole collection, not by far. But look at some of them, how can seeing them not just put a smile on your face?I have had many of these given to me, and I love each and everyone of them. Most people will buy me snowmen for my birthday and for Christmas, which makes me so happy, because that just means more for my collection. My husband likes to say that it looks like Frosty has had a bowel movement (not nice I know) in our living room, but I really don't think it's that bad. Yes, they are everywhere, even on the ground, but I think it's fun.

Anyway, I say all of this to share with you my most favorite snowmen of all. This is my favorite snowman! My oldest son Dylan built this snowman this year. It's his first one, ever. I am so glad that I took a picture of it, because it's gone now. Isn't it the cutest thing ever!?!? His little carrot nose was my favorite part of the whole snowman.He stayed out there with his Daddy, and built it all on his own. It's just so cute, and I'll cherish this picture forever. He worked so hard on it, and it may not be the biggest snowman, but it is my favorite.

October...I've never felt more appreciated!

We have been so richly blessed this month. Considering where we were at a year ago, to where we are now, God is so AMAZING! October is Pastor Appreciation month, so we had planned something for our Pastor for every Sunday of this month. Little did we know that things were planned for us as well.

The first Sunday was Sweets for Pastor, and all the little kids brought in candy to be put in a basket for our Pastor. Well our teenagers did the same for Chris and I. They bought our favorite candy, and put it in a basket for us, and made us a big card that said how much they appreciated us. Then on Monday, Lowe's calls our house, and tells us that they want to schedule a delivery for us to deliver a washer. WAIT! We didn't buy a washer, we didn't know anything about that. Well someone in our Church took it upon themselves to buy us a washer! PRAISE THE LORD!!!!

The following Sunday was a fellowship after Sunday Night Church, and cards telling Pastor how much you appreciate him. Then it was Praise and testimony time. Our teens did the same for us. They all gave us cards, and told us how much we meant to them. It was so special, and the cards were such a blessing, it truly touched our hearts. (I scrapbooked the cards to remember forever.)

This past Sunday was stock Pastor's pantry, and boy did that ever happen. They got so much food, it was such a blessing to see that. Well on Saturday we had a bonfire, when we got home, our porch was FULL of groceries!! We don't know who got them for us, but we do know that it was a tremendous blessing!! Sunday we also got a $100 gift certificate to Perkins. Amazing!

This coming Sunday we are taking up a love offering for Pastor and his family, so that they can have more money when they go to DisneyWorld in November. I am so humbled by all that has gone on, and the Lord has richly blessed our family. It's nice to know that the Lord is able to work through you to help the teens. Chris is doing an amazing job! Our Youth Department is growing and the teens lives are being changed, and it's such a tremendous blessing. To God Be The Glory!!!!

What's Been Going On

OK so I know that it has been forever and a day since I last posted. We have been so incredibly busy I can't keep up with everything that has been going on actually. The last time that I posted, it was Mother's Day....WOW!!

Let's see if I can update y'all as to what has been going on around here since Mother's Day. The rest of May had us going to different things. Band Concerts, open houses, BBQ's, the normal end of the school year things. We had two of our girls in our Youth Group graduate this year, and off to college. That was the rest of May.

June had me going to lots of yard sales! I love going to yard sales!! Didn't find a whole lot this year, which was rather disappointing, but none the less, I still did find some things. I got some new snowmen, which I am SO excited about! June also had us doing a lot of fundraising to go to camp. I took some of the girls out to get ads for a booklet that we put together each year to hand out at a carwash that we do each year. So, I did that, then we had the carwash, and really made a lot of money, the Lord blessed us there. We also had a bake auction at Church and that went very well. We made a lot of money off of that as well. June was also my oldest sons birthday, he turned 9! YIKES!! Where does the time go? He had a good time, and was spoiled rotten, but it was worth it. We also had a youth activity in June, we took the teens to a putt putt course. We had a good time, and it was beautiful weather that day for it too. I think that pretty much covers June.

July was super busy!! The first week I scrapbooked, went to the dentist, had a BBQ on the 4th at Church, that was a lot of fun!! The following week had us going to Camp. We went to Camp Joy in Whitewater, WI. It was an Ok time, and some of the teens made really good decisions. I have to say that it wasn't the best camp for us, but as long as the Lord worked in people's lives, that is all that matters. The best thing about July for me though was that I got to see my sister whom I hadn't seen in 6 years!! Yes, that's right, my sister and I hadn't seen each other in 6 years. She got to town while we were at camp, so that was a bummer, but I still got to spend a good two weeks with her when we got back. She stayed with my Mom mostly, but we sure did get together a lot and had a blast!! I've never had as much fun with my sister as I did when she was here! It was an absolute amazing time, and I cherished every minute I had to spend with her. (She lives in Germany where her husband is stationed) I also got to see my nephews and my niece. It was an AWESOME time!! We did all sorts of things while she was here, and it was just awesome.

Now here we are in August. Not too much has been going on really. I've been scrapbooking a lot with my best friend, and another girl in our Youth Department. I'm having a blast with it, and truly looking forward to the memories that I am creating for my kids in these books. We had a funeral couple of weeks ago for a man in our Church that passed away. The Lord graciously took him home, and now he is no longer in pain. Our teenagers had a teen service on the 19th. They did an AMAZING job!! They ran the whole service, from singing, to sound, to ushering. They did AWESOME!! We just had a horrible storm hit here Thursday! IT was the worst thing that I have ever seen. 100+ MPH wind came through town. I'm telling you that I truly believe that it was a tornado. They keep saying that it was straightline winds, but I simply don't believe that, at all. The damage is amazing. The Lord truly spared our home, but other people were not as lucky. After the storm passed, I went and checked on one of our friends houses, and just to get there was an obstacle course. Trees were down left and right! It was incredible.

So I think that is all that has been going on here in a nutshell. I am sure that there are other things going on, but I'll save that for another time. =)

Being a Mom

As Mother's Day approaches, I can't help but think how blessed I am as a Mother! Here you see my two little boys. Aren't they adorable?!?!

The Lord has truly blessed me with these two precious little boys. They are absolutely my pride and joy. Being a Mother is simply the best feeling in the world. I can't imagine women who go through life, and don't want kids. That is just not natural.

All I ever wanted in life was to be a wife, and a Mother. I am living my dream life right now (hence my blog's headline), and I never take that for granted. I realize daily that the Lord has blessed me with my children and He trusted Chris and I to take care of these two precious people. I have to do my best daily to take care of them. Yes, motherhood isn't always easy. You are going to face hard times, and you will have sleepless nights, and they are going to be sick, but the BLESSING is worth the sacrifice.

I've had my ups and downs in my 8 years of being a Mom, and I know that I will continue to have them. I've learned a lot throughout the years as well. I know that each kid is different, and no matter how much you want them to be the same, or how much you expect them to be the same, they are differen't. That is how they were made, we just have to accept that. You will face different challenges with each one as well. In the end though, really all that matters is that you raise them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Raise them to love, respect, honor, fear, and marvel in the Lord.

If nothing else I want for my children, I want them to know that God loves them, and so do I. Yes, they are going to make mistakes, we all do. I want them to know that God is there for them 100% and I will always be there for them 100%. Being a Mother is a lifetime thing, you don't stop being a Mom when your child reaches 18. There is no cut off age for being a parent.

So I've realized that I LOVE being a Mom, and I am going to continue to raise my boys (and any other children that the Lord blesses me with), to fear, love, marvel, respect, etc., the Lord, and others. My children are my pride and joy, and I hope that all you other Mother's who are out there love your children just the same. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all my friends who are Mom's!! Children are a heritage of the Lord, NEVER forget that!

Love

I was talking to my husband last night, and I asked him this question: What is it that makes people decide that they want to be together for the rest of their lives? What triggers in your mind that says "this is it, this is the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with."

I realize that the Lord will tell you This is the one for you, but really when you stop to think about it, it's odd to me how people just end up together. And most of the time, couples are so opposite, it's unreal. Chris and I are very opposite, but yet the love we have is AMAZING!!

I guess that I am just in awe of how people end up together. How it is that a man decides this is the woman for me, and this is the one that I want to marry. It's just interesting to me how people end up together, and end up married. What an amazing thing the Lord created when He created man and woman to fall in love. When your marriage is done right, what an AWESOME thing it is to spend the rest of your life with this person. What a blessing being married is. Just something I was pondering....

I am still around

So I realize that it has been forever since I've last posted. I used to blog all the time, and now it seems as though I just let it slip by. Sorry to all of those who actually read this. I will try my hardest to keep up on this, but don't I say that every time I'm on here? I really will try this time.

Things are going well here actually. We have been very busy too, but who isn't now a days? It really does seems as though if it's not one thing it's another though. We are trying to do fund raising for our teens to go to camp. We go to camp in July, so it's right around the corner. I know that the Lord will provide us with the proper funds that we need, so I leave it in His hands.

Chris has been out of town a lot, or so it seems. He was just gone last week, and I missed him so much. I hate when he is gone, it literally feels like a piece of me is missing when he isn't here. He just means so much to me, so I don't like when he isn't here with me. He is such a good Daddy to our boys too, so I hate that he can't be here for them either. We realize though that there are times when he just simply can't be here with us. We can't be selfish, we have to allow him to do his job, that is what the Lord has for him to do, so that is how it is.

Things at Church are going really well. I praise the Lord all the time for leading us to where we are now. The Lord knew that we needed to be there, and once we figured out His will for our lives, things fell into place. We are truly blessed to be under a wonderful Pastor who is willing to teach, love, and disciple us. We sure had to go through a major battle to get where we are at now, but the mountaintop is amazing right now!

Well I will try to keep this updated a little better, I really will. I will try to not allow two months to go by without posting. Love to all!!

Back In The Saddle Again

I know that it has been a while since I've last posted, and for that I am sorry. So many things have been going on here for us, and they are good things! I know that in my last post, I was talking about being in the ministry again, and the Lord telling me to Wait my Child. And wait is what we did. Then it happened!!

After much prayer from Chris and I both, our Pastor asked us to be the Youth Pastor's at our Church!!!! I couldn't be more excited, it was an AWESOME day when that happened!! I had prayed for so long that the Lord would open up a door for us somewhere, and He did. So we are now the Youth Pastor (s) of Colonial Baptist Church. I am excited to see what will become of this, and see this group of teens grow and become REAL. My husband has so many new ideas, and here he will be able to work with them, where as at his old job, there were serious limits as to what you could do and what you couldn't do. I am so excited to see what will go on.

That is the biggest news. In other news around here, we just got through a HUGE, nasty, horrible, awful ice storm. It was the worst that I have ever seen up here in the almost 8 years of living here. It was absolutely the worst thing ever. So many people here in town lost power, praise the Lord we were not one of them. We prayed, and prayed that we wouldn't lose power, and we didn't. God was so good to us, and heard our prayers. A lot of our friends lost power, and we were fixin to open up our house, and bring them in, so that they could be warm, and have power. I felt so bad for all those that did lose power. There are still some around here that don't have power, and my prayer is that it will be restored soon. We are looking at another storm possibly tomorrow, and I pray that the storm will miss us all together, or that it will only come in the form of rain. The last thing this town needs is another ice storm.

Well I think that is all for this post. I just wanted to share God's GREATNESS with everyone, and let everyone know that we are back in the ministry, and couldn't be happier about it!! God is so good to us, and He hears our prayers, and knows our hearts. If we wait when He says wait, then good things will come our way, in HIS time, not our own.

Mixed Emotions

So, it's been a while since I've last posted anything. There is no specific reason for that, just that I simply haven't done it. I love to write, and I love to blog. It is one thing that I have always found theraputic for me. Just sit and write, and I could for a long time. I don't know that my thoughts would make sense, but it would help me none the less. :-)

Things are well here. The new year has begun with little activity. Not much has been going on really. We've had our bouts with illness. Jacob had a double ear infection, and Dylan had strep and an infection on his stomach. All that has cleared up, and now Dylan has a cough. Uggggggghhh!! Such is life I suppose. I do monitor Dylan when he gets sick with coughs or breathing problems, because we almost lost him as a baby to RSV. He was horribly sick, and that is something that I never want to face again. (We won't have to, as he is to old now.) I feel for any parent that has a child that has to go through that nasty virus. It almost took Dylan away from us. So, needless to say that when he gets sick like that, I keep a close eye on him. I don't think it's anything major though, so that's good. Outside of illness, the new year has been un-eventful.

Chris and I are ready to be back in the ministry again, and we know that the Lord will lead us in the direction that we need to be in when the time is right. I realized something the other day that put things into reality. It was a year ago that we thought about leaving our old Church, and going somewhere else. The Lord chose to hold us there for 8 months, before He moved us on. I think that our flesh always wants things to happen right now!! We don't want to wait, we want it NOW, and sometimes The Lord says: No MY child, you have to wait. And in reality, that is where we are now.

Waiting....I am OK with waiting though, because I realize that the Lord is using that time to heal my heart. And as much as I am ready to minister to people again, if now isn't the time, then that's OK as well. My true love, and passion is to minister to teens again. Oh I miss the teens so much!! I LOVED every minute of it, ministering to them, watching them grow, and blossom. It hurt so deep having to walk away from that. Leaving them, and knowing that I couldn't help them anymore, that they were out of my hands hurt deeper than any pain I've ever felt. Then the Lord reminded me that He loves them more, and He will take care of them. They aren't abandoned, He will help them.

It's taken me a while to realize that it's OK to hurt, but it's not OK to live that pain day in and day out. For a while there, that is what I was doing. Living, breathing, walking, functioning (or not), with the pain that had happened!! That was not OK. That was not pleasing to the Lord. But oh the pain we felt. Being betrayed, our name dragged through the mud, my husband being torn to shredds, all by a "man of God" , what a shame.

I was talking to Chris the other day, and I told him that what happened to us out there was NOT OK!! I was so tired of everbody saying it's OK, and there's nothing you can do about it. No!! It's not OK. It's not OK that he spread lies, vicous rumours, and said hurtful things, slandered, threatened, etc., our names, and our lives. IT'S NOT OK. I realize that getting angry about it though, will not help me. God will take care of the man that did this, and I realized that I had to give it to God 100%, and my life will be better for it.

So I've worked through a lot this year. Knowing that my turn (our turn) in the ministry will be right around the corner again, and I look forward to that day again. Ministering to people again...WOW!! How refreshing that will be. It seems like it's been forever, and I know that it hasn't, but it feels that way.

Sometimes you have to listen to that still small voice that says: WAIT MY CHILD. I will wait, and I will be patient, no matter how hard that will be on some days, that's what the Lord wants, and I need to obey Him. He will lead me on the path that I need to be on, that WE need to be on.

So I am done for now. Hopefully this all made sense, not to sure if I could put all my thoughts together for them to make sense, but I tried and that is all that matters. I really am going to try to be more faithful in this, and blog more often. We'll see how that goes. It's a new year...Anything can happen. :-)

Bittersweet Feelings

Well tonight as I sit here, my friend is in the hospital getting ready to have a baby. I am so happy for her, this is her dream come true, but at the same time, it's bittersweet for me.

I don't want to be selfish in my way of thinking, and I realize that maybe I am being a little bit selfish, but for the past 5 years, all I have wanted is another baby. I lost a baby 5 years ago, and since then I have had the desire to have another one. I know that I am so blessed right now, with my two boys, and I don't take that for granted at all. God has been good to me, and I realize that He has trusted my husband and I with our boys, and I am so grateful for that. There are just days when I want another baby.

Most of the time I am OK with it, and I am OK with not having another one, but there are times when it hits me, and I want another one. I realize that I need to be thankful for all that the Lord has given me, and I don't want to sound un-grateful, I guess it's just the women in me that wants more. Who knows...maybe it's the Lord's way of telling me not to have anymore, I don't know.

So as I pray for my friend that she will have a healthy delivery, I pray that the Lord will mend my heart as well. I want to be happy for her, and I am. I wish her all the best, and I know that she will make a wonderful mom. =) It's just left me feeling...bittersweet...

Reflecting and realizations =)

Well I realize that it has been a while, but as you all know...time can get away from you. All the hype over the Holidays, and then just like that, it's over.

I cannot believe that it is 2007 already!! Where does the time go? I really don't know where the past 10 years since I have been out of High School have gone. I am astonished that it's even been 10 years since High School, I cannot believe that at all. Time flies when you're having fun, and I can honestly say that I've enjoyed the last 10 years that's for sure.

My husband and I are getting ready to celebrate our 9 year wedding anniversary, and that doesn't seem possible, but it is. I am so EXCITED about that, I really am. Every year gets better and better (or as he would say...gooder and gooder LOL). He is the Love of my life, and I am so extremely happy to be married to him. He makes me so happy every day, and I realize that I am so blessed and lucky to have such a wonderful husband. God was so good to me when he brought him into my life!!

As the new year came around (and not that we are to far into it), I started realizing a lot of things. Nothing major, just little things. I realized that people, no matter how old they are, can still be so childish, and I don't really like that. You would think that as adults, you would be past the whole I'm not talking to you things, but sometimes you just come across people that aren't past that. I guess I have to realize that if they are like that with me, then I just have to give them over to the Lord and allow Him to take care of it. As much as it bothers me, and it is one of my pet peeves, I have to give it to God and allow Him to take care of it. It isn't in my control anyway.

I also realized that 2007 I had to make a change in my life for the Lord. For the first time in a long time, I've read my Bible every day, and not only that, I'm getting things from it!! I am remembering what I am reading, and retaining some knowledge of it. I am so happy with myself for that. For years I have wanted that, and I realized that this was the year that things in my life had to change, and I was the only one that could make that change. God is so good to me, and I realized that I wasn't getting enough from Him. There was answers to so many things that I just wasn't picking up, and getting. The Bible has all the answers in life that I need, and I wasn't reading it. Shame on me!! Praise the Lord that we serve a God of second, third, fourth, etc., chances. He was wanting me to read His Word, and I chose not to...shame on me. But!! He never gave up on me, and He is still there with open arms. How AWESOME!!

I also realized how old my kids were getting. They are 8 &7 now, and I don't know where the time has gone. Where have my babies gone? They are getting older, and maturing, and I don't know where the time has gone. I want to cherish every minute that I can with them, because before I know it, they will be out of my house, and on their own. WOW!! What a scary thought. My little guys on their own...I better not rush anything, right?!

Well I guess that is all of my reflections and my realizations. Nothing major just a few things that I've realized. I hope that everyone's New Year is finding them well. God Bless!!